Your Legacy of Stuff

you're not only leaving behind lasting memories

Aug 08, 2025

My husband’s father loves stuff. If you need something, anything, undoubtedly he has it hidden somewhere. He’s an “accumulator”, the kind way to refer to a “hoarder” here in Italy.

This obsession. It started innocently enough and that’s usually the way it happens. He’s not the only one in my life with this fixation and attachment to the stuff they posses, I see many of my nearest and dearest facing this challenging reality. Seeking comfort in being surrounded. I am not a therapist (nowhere near), nor would I ever pretend to be, but it’s quite obvious to me, and to anyone that takes a deeper look, that these individuals are facing something bigger than themselves. It goes deeper than just needing and wanting that item. It’s rooted in their (and mine, I have these tendencies too) childhoods, it’s rooted in various traumas that have occurred over their lifetimes.

If I were to draw a line of intersection between all of these people, it would come down to this, either they grew up in a period where things were scarce and they had to really covet what they had, or their lives were unstable and unpredictable and it was easier to find solace in stuff than the adults around them (or both). Then, no one said anything and no one challenged this damaging addiction (also, it’s not seen as so damaging because our society encourages it). Because that’s what it is, don’t fool yourself. We are addicted to stuff, and some more than others.

“I’ll need it someday…”

This mentality of needing that particular thing one day, this gets us into trouble. This idea is no doubt the dialogue in my father-in-law’s head that has gotten him to where he is now. Owner of 4 filled garages and a filled apartment. All items that he may need someday. In his defence, he is a man who can fix anything and more often than not, does use pieces he finds in the trash to create, fix, build and repurpose. This is wonderful, no doubt about it. But not all of his pieces are used in this way and so they pile up and collect dust and become a headache for everyone else (and his too, you can see his soul is tethered down by the mental space these physical items take up).

But this piece that I’m writing is not meant to pick apart addiction or put any blame on anyone, we all have our things. What I mainly wanted to focus on was how we can slowly heal this addiction to stuff and make changes to the legacy we’re leaving to someone. And it’s not necessarily your child either, if you’re childless, the weight of the items you own at the end of your life will fall into the hands of someone, even if you don’t know who that’ll be.

we live like we’re here forever

I don’t know about you, but at some point, I’m calling it quits. Hopefully later rather than sooner, but it’s an inevitability.

Ok, that got heavy fast, but how we see our deaths play a massive role in how we treat the planet white we’re living on it. If we don’t think about how it’s going to be when we leave, why do anything while we’re here? It’s like when people from aging populations have the audacity to say, “I’m leaving this place soon so I really just don’t care.” Yeah, this is the attitude of many and this is alarming.

We buy things like we’re going to be here forever to enjoy them. We buy buy buy with not a thought of what will become of that item. It’s truly frightening. Look around you, everything you see? It’s not going with you. It’s staying here and most likely being thrown out. Because the nature of the items in our lives now is that they’re replaceable, they’re items that have no sentimental value to us and can easily be replaced if needed. We don’t care. It’s not so common that items get passed down to the younger generation anymore because we all just have crap from Ikea.

We live by object time: by this I mean we live to the rhythm of their ceaseless succession. Today, it is we who watch them as they are born, grow to maturity and die, whereas in all previous civilizations, it was timeless objects, instruments or monuments which outlived the generations of human beings.
- Jean Baudrillard, “The Consumer Society”

black and silver vintage camera — Photo by Alexander Schimmeck on Unsplash

Clean like the Swedes

“The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning: How to Free Yourself and Your Family From a Lifetime of Clutter” by Margareta Magnusson should be added to everyone’s “to read” pile. It’s such a fundamental read if you want to make a shift in your life and consider what you’re leaving behind. Like I stated before, this is important even if you don’t have children as this responsibility will fall onto someone.

Margareta Magnusson offers advice on how to declutter your home and minimize your worldly possessions so your loved ones don't have to do it for you. In Swedish there is a word for it: Döstädning, "dö" means "death" and "städning" means "cleaning." The idea behind death cleaning is to remove unnecessary things and get your home in order as you become older.

Doesn’t that sound just dreamy? Who wants to leave a pile of stuff behind for someone else to deal with? And let’s be honest, to be thrown out. My husband and I contemplate this a lot as we see what’s going to be left to him and his brothers to deal with when the time comes and it’s not a pleasant thought. This disconnectedness on the part of their father is profoundly sad as he is not considering the mess he’ll be leaving behind when his time comes.

find happiness in what you have

This desire to acquire more and more is something that may be studied by anthropologists in the future as it’s a very eerie phenomenon. This need to drown, to nullify what you feel by shopping and seeing the piles growing up around you, creating a cocoon of safety from things you don’t want to face. Don’t be fooled by the age of adage, “retail therapy” because this will truly only bring you more weight. It might feel good in the moment, but to what end? What will having that item fix in you? Not only that, but what waste are you creating by acquiring said item?

It’s truly a gift to be able to feel like you have enough stuff in this world. Why do we need more than we use on a daily basis? What are these grand emergencies that will befall us if we don’t cover our tracks with more and more stuff? Do you really need 3 pairs of sunglasses? Do you really need 10 pairs of pants. I have 2 pairs and I’m surviving, actually, I’m thriving.

what’s your legacy?

I talk a lot about legacy. I love the word, it’s an important theme in our lives as it’s the only thing we will be leaving behind when we shuffle off to the next adventure. The kind of legacy we will be leaving behind is totally up to us and the stuff we accumulate now impacts that legacy and the future.

Death is a complicated business on many levels, why complicate it further by leaving your loved ones a huge legacy of stuff to deal with in the end? No one wants that, no one.

More on this topic in the future as it’s one that is a never ending and expanding topics that I find myself to be quite passionate about and fascinated by.

I also have a podcast you could enjoy, you can find it here and you can always get in touch with me about being a guest!

I’m so overjoyed that more of you are joining the sustainability movement and my goal with this page is to make it more understandable and accessible for everyone.